Wednesday, March 19, 2014

The pain of a friend....

So....when I posted here the other day I noticed several "drafts" that had been saved. This one jumped out at me and I feel as if it needs to be posted. I don't think I had felt finished when I wrote it months (maybe a year or so) ago. I was probably "flitting" around that day too!!

Here it is.......

As I drove away I immediately began asking God to forgive me for failing a friend so deeply. Yet, as soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew that I did not want God to patch this one up and make me feel all better. NO, I deserved the pain that had pierced my heart because a lesson was here to learn. I knew it immediately.
One thing about getting older is knowing and fully understanding that it is necessary to own our mistakes, even when they are invisible ones that we could easily get away with.

The reason I knew how deeply I had hurt my friend is because every word that came out of her mouth could have just as easily came out of mine, had I the guts to say them. She wasn't speaking to me directly, she was speaking to the five of us girls sitting at a sweet little bustling Italian cafe' over dinner and tiramsu. We had failed her. She was not pointing a finger or speaking an ounce of judgement, just simply speaking with open honesty. Her world had crashed down around her and none of us had a clue. We didn't have a clue because we were so wrapped up in our own little lives that we failed to see the veil of pain and deep heartache that was stretched over her world. Here we were sharing small talk not even noticing that her heart was bleeding.

We get so caught up in our own worlds, there is much to get caught up in. We are busy, we have our struggles, issues, situations, heartaches, things to do, errands to run, jobs to go to, things to accomplish, our daily lists go on and on and on...... In that, we fail desperately to be there for one another. God in the flesh. There to comfort and just BE with those who we love and are hurting.

I'm not sure how we fit it all in sometimes, it just seems to be too much. People to love on and enjoy, relationships to deepen and nurture. All while juggling every ball in our own lives  (work, errands, housework, kids, parents, laundry, illness ...)
Living in balance seems to be the biggest juggling act of all time.
How do we do it?

I don't have the answers, you can rest assured I will be seeking them. I will be trying my darndest to hone my personal juggling skills. I am not interested in learning how to juggle as a hobby, but as a way of life, a way of keeping the things, the people, that are important to me from falling and crashing to the ground.

I hope I never forget the lesson I learned, because for far too long I have felt as if everyone one else needed to learn it, HA! the joke was on me! I was just as desperate and in need of such a valuable lesson.

Here's to lessons learned and that we might never forget the impact of them upon our hearts and lives. As you go out today, be the blessing so many need in this busy, hectic world.

Love & Blessings!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Flitting and Trusting

Have you ever found yourself in a dance of avoidance?  When you are supposed to be doing one thing but you keep on flitting and doing OTHER things? It seems like your mind cannot focus or that you have too much inside and you have to get it ALL out?

Well, that seems to be where I am today!

I am supposed to be preparing for a retreat I am going to be speaking at, yet I am finding myself suddenly wanting to create a blog post!  Not sure where this is even leading, I am going to discover it along with you  ;)

I have so much on my mind and my heart. As we all do at any given time.

The retreat message I am preparing does not come difficult to me, only the thought of "speaking" does...I can write all day long and feel fine about people reading what I have to say, but when it comes to standing in front of sweet gals and trying to eloquate the message in my heart, I struggle BIG time!

My heart is also being pulled by the vortex of a huge life event that is in the wings.
 My son and his wife and two little girls will be leaving in two weeks for three years to Japan. That is a whole lot of ocean between this mom/mimi and my precious ones!
For years they have lived 7 hours away which was inconvenient but oh so doable! Now I cannot just jump in my car on a whim and go hang out with my loves. They surely will not be able to come home either.
So, my heart is left to ache this difficult time and I feel like a bucket of tears, spilling over at the tiniest bump. That bump can be just a thought, a word, a song, a sight, a text message, a name it!

Life is full of struggles and challenges.
  Many of you are going through some pretty tough times.
 You wonder when the fog will EVER lift!
 Seems like some days you just feel so weighed down by all that is on your "plate" as you hope for brighter days ahead.
When will you be able to rest peacefully when you lay your head on your pillow at night.
 When will the lonely feeling ever end.
 When will you receive the answer to that prayer that is ever on your lips.
 How can you keep on going like this?
 How can you make it another day?

God holds every answer. He is also the source of our comfort and joy as we find our footing in this often treacherous world, as we navigate through our struggles and anguish. He is reaching out to hold our hand and guide us through any struggle we find ourselves in.
He loves us more than we can ever imagine.
He knows the outcome and He wants us to be reassured that in the end, it will be okay. 
It really will.
Not everything is perfect or easy, but He is almighty and will never leave you nor forsake you.
He has the whole world in His hands and He wants you to find comfort and peace in the fact that He wants nothing but the best for your life.

I am going to remember that as I kiss my sweet boy, my darling daughter-in-law and my two little grandangels good bye. As they fly off to this new adventure in their lives. I KNOW that God has great things for them, I just also know that my heart is in knots at the very thought of missing them!

I want to encourage you today in anything YOU are going through, that you know God has YOU, He has your loved ones and your circumstances. Relinquish all the control and worry over to Him. He has never intended for us to worry and fret, but to think on good things!

I am going to leave you with the verse that has been my great companion through many a tough time. It has helped me keep my focus when my son was deployed, or when I feared the worst in a diagnosis or just had a time of anxiety that I could not get a grip on.
I would encourage you to write it upon your heart as I you can pull it up when you are feeling those moments of overwhelm and anxiety.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be you."
Philippians 4:6-9

Let's focus more on HIM and less on our circumstances! By doing so we will feel the peace of God that SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING!

Love and blessings to you on this beautiful day that the Lord has made! REJOICE and be glad in it!!!

XO Sherry