So....when I posted here the other day I noticed several "drafts" that had been saved. This one jumped out at me and I feel as if it needs to be posted. I don't think I had felt finished when I wrote it months (maybe a year or so) ago. I was probably "flitting" around that day too!!
Here it is.......
As I drove away I immediately began asking God to forgive me for failing a friend so deeply. Yet, as soon as the words came out of my mouth I knew that I did not want God to patch this one up and make me feel all better. NO, I deserved the pain that had pierced my heart because a lesson was here to learn. I knew it immediately.
One thing about getting older is knowing and fully understanding that it is necessary to own our mistakes, even when they are invisible ones that we could easily get away with.
The reason I knew how deeply I had hurt my friend is because every word that came out of her mouth could have just as easily came out of mine, had I the guts to say them. She wasn't speaking to me directly, she was speaking to the five of us girls sitting at a sweet little bustling Italian cafe' over dinner and tiramsu. We had failed her. She was not pointing a finger or speaking an ounce of judgement, just simply speaking with open honesty. Her world had crashed down around her and none of us had a clue. We didn't have a clue because we were so wrapped up in our own little lives that we failed to see the veil of pain and deep heartache that was stretched over her world. Here we were sharing small talk not even noticing that her heart was bleeding.
We get so caught up in our own worlds, there is much to get caught up in. We are busy, we have our struggles, issues, situations, heartaches, things to do, errands to run, jobs to go to, things to accomplish, our daily lists go on and on and on...... In that, we fail desperately to be there for one another. God in the flesh. There to comfort and just BE with those who we love and are hurting.
I'm not sure how we fit it all in sometimes, it just seems to be too much. People to love on and enjoy, relationships to deepen and nurture. All while juggling every ball in our own lives (work, errands, housework, kids, parents, laundry, illness ...)
Living in balance seems to be the biggest juggling act of all time.
How do we do it?
I don't have the answers, you can rest assured I will be seeking them. I will be trying my darndest to hone my personal juggling skills. I am not interested in learning how to juggle as a hobby, but as a way of life, a way of keeping the things, the people, that are important to me from falling and crashing to the ground.
I hope I never forget the lesson I learned, because for far too long I have felt as if everyone one else needed to learn it, HA! the joke was on me! I was just as desperate and in need of such a valuable lesson.
Here's to lessons learned and that we might never forget the impact of them upon our hearts and lives. As you go out today, be the blessing so many need in this busy, hectic world.
Love & Blessings!